Earlier today we filled out our quickie budget sheet for FPU. So far, so good. It was fairly painless and things looked pretty good or at least not as bad as I thought they would.
I'd read in the FPU forum several messages where members said they were scared and I wondered why they were scared. Now I know why!
We're working on our Cash Flow Plan and the numbers just aren't working! What a shock, huh? With the expenses broken down as they are in the CFP, it's very clear to me that we have way too little money. Duh, I knew that! But I've just flown by the seat of my pants and buried my head in the sand so long and so well that although I knew we didn't have enough money I didn't know just how much we didn't have. Now I know. And yes, I'm scared! I was shaken enough that as DH and I talked about it, my eyes misted over. Okay, they didn't just mist over. I actually cried a little. Yes, I'm very scared. DH is so calm, though. He's a rock, telling me it will be okay and not to worry about it all right now, that we need to know what the truth is and that this is the best thing. I know he's right but its still scary.
According to the numbers right now, we have $85 less than we need per month. And that's before we figure in things like retirement fund, furniture replacement, water and gas (which we don't pay now but will at some point), any kind of health, disability or life insurance (which we don't have and do need), dental and optometry care, or payments to any of the creditors we owe (which we don't pay now and haven't in years but want to).
And then there's this. For the last year I've gotten my medications free through the pharmaceutical companies but now that I'm working and DH's business is half way good, I more than likely won't qualify for their programs. So I won't get free medications and supplies and we don't have insurance to help with that. It wouldn't be so bad if the cost of my medications and supplies wasn't astronomical but it is astronomical - $1300 to $1500 a month, give or take a couple hundred dollars or so. And there's simply no way I can afford health insurance right now even through the state's high risk pool which quoted me a monthly premium of about $875.
Okay, so what to do? Well, it looks as though one thing I need to do is find a job that either pays me enough to pay for health insurance or medication or provides HMO coverage for a reasonable charge. My employer is keeping me below full time hours and I don't see that changing any time soon so I don't qualify there. Great, just great. And I don't have the job skills to land the kind of job that's going to pay me what I need so I'll have to find a job with decent medical coverage.
So yeah, I'm scared. I'm really scared right now. And I don't like it one bit but it is what it is.
I'm drinking the kool aid and it's pretty damned bitter.
FPU's Cash Flow Plan! Hold me, I'm scared!
January 30th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
January 30th, 2008 at 11:02 pm 1201734173
If you don't mind retail, I think Circuit City offers benefits to part-timers, and there might be others like them.
That does sound scary, but take some deep breaths. When I first started budgeting back in March, we still had to put a few things on credit cards. We just made sure they were necessities and that we knew about them in advance. If you can keep it to less than $100 per month, you won't be going into that much more debt while you get on track. Eventually we balanced out by lowering bills, cutting back expenses, stopping all "fun money" spending, selling stuff, and turning down every single invitation to places that cost any money. Gradually due to job changes, we got more income flowing in, but the important thing was to have a plan. You've already been in the red for years if you're like me, so what are a few more months? Just make sure it's deliberate, it's minimal, and you know how much more you will be going under. And keep plotting to either lower expenses or increase income to fix the imbalance eventually!
I hope this helps. I'm not an expert or anything, but I remember how scary and gutwrenching it was when I first ran the numbers back in March. But I got through it.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:22 pm 1201735360
January 30th, 2008 at 11:31 pm 1201735893
A budget is great peace of mind.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:40 pm 1201736455
Your basics are taken care of food - shelter and food. That is a good thing. Do you live near a community college? They offer decent benefits for part-timers - doing secretarial stuff or whatever, plus they pay okay. I wouldn't worry about all the things you aren't taking care of. And your husband has a new business right? That will grow too. You are at least at a starting point! Good wishes to you!
January 31st, 2008 at 12:09 am 1201738148
You have great computer skills, writing skills, and seem intelligent. It would be great if you could put those skills to work, and earn a decent salary, with benefits.
Social Services is also a good place to apply. There are lots of jobs for people with computer skills, and the benefits are good. Putting applications in some of these kinds of place can't hurt.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:42 am 1201740177
rduell is also right that budgeting brings incredible peace of mind ...
So, take a few deep breaths. You are about to begin a marathon; it is not a sprint, so take it one step at a time and stick with it. It sounds like FPU is going to be a really valuable tool for you! We're all looking forward to following your progress.
You are the best for facing things head-on!
January 31st, 2008 at 01:08 am 1201741730
I don't doubt that having a budget is a good thing. In fact, I know it is. But damn, these numbers are scary to see. The basics are tended to for now, true. And I need to remember that! But soon we'll have to find another place to live so we have to prepare for all that goes with that;deposits, first and last month's rent, etc. So anything we can save will have to go to that for awhile.
We're not too far from a community college branch. I think I'll go to TWC next week and talk to them about this. They might be able to help me find a better job. My computer skills are great on a Mac but on a PC they're iffy. I have basic PC knowledge but am slow with a PC. I've written for pay before - just small articles for a few content sites. I'm going to get back into that during my spare time. The pay isn't great but $5 here and $8 there adds up.
Thank you to all of you for being supportive. I need that right now and I need motivation to stick with this.
January 31st, 2008 at 02:06 am 1201745181
Yeah, it certainly is scary isn't it? I think the beginning is always the toughest, because that's when the weight of your worries are at its heaviest.
On the other hand, the beginning steps are also the most dramatic ones, and ever so slightly, I do think that it will get easier from here on out....
The wonderful thing about this is that you are now embarking on a journey where you are now in control of your money and your future, rather than the other way around. With a budget, you tell IT what to do and where to go. It no longer holds you hostage.
Please take care. We're all pulling for you, and will help any way we can.