My Dr's office called yesterday to remind me of an appointment for a cholesterol check this morning. I'm glad they called as I'd totally forgotten about it. I got that tended to and spent $10 on my co-pay (there's some confusion about that but I'll post about it separately) then headed to Target to get some things for my mother.
Most purchases I make at Target are bought with either the Target Visa or my Target debit card so I can take advantage of my team member discount and the 5% card discount. So today I spent $2.50 for breakfast at Target Cafe and $1.45 for a nice cup of Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee. The lab work was fasting and I was famished and the blood sugar was rapidly dropping so food was a priority! I got $33 worth of stuff for Mom and put that on the Target Visa. I also got $14 worth of stuff for myself and used my Target debit card.
I got to Mom's around noon and we had a good visit, including lunch of hot dogs and salad. Before I left she asked if we could go to Fred's so of course I took her. I spent $4 there then took her home and came back to my place.
So what makes all that brutal? Nothing. It's the fact that my stepfather's dementia is progressing rapidly and Mom is just about at the point where she can't do it all alone anymore. That hit me like a ton of bricks today. I don't know what more I can do besides quit my job and move in with them but it's too big for that, even. I'm at a loss. They don't have the money for a facility and he isn't quite to that point, anyway.
I talked to one of my sisters this evening and the only thing we can think of is for me to quit my job and give up my place, put Mom's house on the market (she bought it only 6 weeks ago!) and the three of us move to an apartment near my sisters so more help will be available. That isn't the ideal solution but it might be the only one.
Do any of you have experience with a loved one and dementia? If so, I could really use your input.....
A somewhat brutal day - parents and dementia
December 16th, 2011 at 01:17 am
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Patientsaver, my sisters live in Dallas, which is about an hour and a half from Mom. I live almost an hour from her, myself, which is why I figure I'll have to give up my job, place, etc and move in with them before long. My sisters work full time and are off each weekend and agreed to come help at least one weekend a month but it hasn't worked out that way.
I'm pretty sure they have too much money for any kind of Medicaid assistance and other than that, nothing is available that we've found. I'm still looking.
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December 16th, 2011 at 04:33 pm 1324053202
They have received help from the local agency for the aged. They are able to have a nurse and physical therapist come in to help, and they have medicaid. It was arranged through their doctor. We also found out that hospice will offer help for payments with dementia, even if they aren't expected to die soon. You might check that out.
Keep your spirits up. Your parents are lucky to have you.
January 6th, 2012 at 04:17 pm 1325866672
My mom had Alzheimer's and I was responsible for getting her necessary care. The program to keep seniors in their homes paid for adult day care, in a wonderful center, six days a week. My mom loved going there. She went on a van for handicapped people at a very nominal cost for the transportation. When she needed a higher level of care, she had to go to a nursing home, and the Medicaid was already in place because she was in the system with the program to keep her at home as long as possible.
If you tell Social Services that your step dad has to got to a nursing home, on Medicaid, unless there is help, I think they will find something that will work.
Good luck. It is difficult going through this. Been there. Done that.
January 7th, 2012 at 03:56 pm 1325951768