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The best ways to ensure you'll be and stay broke

January 13th, 2008 at 05:45 am



1. At a tender age, get the thought in your head that saving money isn't important.

2. Once you have #1 down pat, add the belief that you're invincible and there's always time for saving later. Bonus points are yours if you can throw in the thought that you're going to have a very successful career in (insert career choice here) and you'll make so much money and will start saving at that point.

3. Once you've achieved #1 and #2, marry someone who believes the same things. Better yet, marry someone whose beliefs are the opposite of yours. That will set you up for years of tension, arguments, and possibly even high cost attorney's fees.

4. Live beyond your means. It's best if you can live way beyond your means, continuing to believe that there's time to save later. Buy a house you can't afford, get many credit cards and run them all to the max paying the minimum payments or not paying them at all, even buy brand new gas hogging cars, preferably more than one. Just make sure they're very expensive cars and the payments are the kind that will keep you up nights. If you can throw in some trips to exotic places, all paid for with the above mentioned credit cards, of course, kudos to you!

5. Be late on your payments for the things you've purchased on credit, making it certain that you'll have high and unnecessary fees to pay.

6. Flaunt your lavish lifestyle and be the one with the deepest pockets. Treat all your co-workers and distant relatives to lunch at the fanciest places in town. Pay the bills of friends and family members who blow their money irresponsibly. Join the most exlusive and most expensive country club in town. Don't worry if you don't play golf. Get a great set of costly clubs to go in the trunk of that car you can't afford and fake it. Or get really creative and take on a very costly addiction or hobby. Use your imagination here!

7. Make sure your kids think you're rich and that they're rich, too. Buy them the most expensive clothes and send them to the most expensive schools, even if the education isn't worth the price you pay for it. And don't forget to hand them unearned allowance every week and then generously buy what they want after they've spent the allowance. In being faithful about this one you're making sure the future of your kids is about as good as yours.

There are a lot of other things you can do to ensure that you're broke and stay that way but I've given you seven of the best ways I know. The rest is up to you. Smile

10 Responses to “The best ways to ensure you'll be and stay broke”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:

    Nice! Big Grin

    The sad part? A lot of that happened when I was married.... Frown

  2. luxliving Says:

    Oh sooooooo true! Good list.

  3. ralph Says:

    Dang you! #7 is killing me.

  4. scfr Says:

    Love it. Good job Denise.

  5. denisentexas Says:

    Thanks, thanks! I've done a few of those things myself and have watched family and friends do the others. It seems to me that doing these things would work. lol

  6. LadyT Says:

    Love it, great job Denise! Sad to say, I've done several of those...

  7. kendo26 Says:

    Great wisdom. I've been there and done that, so I'm moving on to improve my financial life.

  8. JanH Says:

    Great tongue-in-cheek! We see ourselves....and yet you get us to giggle a little about it. Well written and sobering thoughts.....

  9. denisentexas Says:

    Thanks, Jan and all. Like I said, I've done some of them and am seeing the error of my ways, so to speak!

  10. mike Says:

    The best thing is to pay off the credit cards fast. If you have $30 a month in interest charges, each year you are paying $360 in interest. That is almost $2,000 in interest fees after 5 years.

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