On January 2 of 2007, I posted an entry called

Brutal honesty at work. That entry was about what was on one of my credit reports. Sadly, that same credit report, pulled about two weeks ago, hasn't changed except that item #2 is now slightly over $1300 and we no longer have the house payments. Unfortunately, we don't have the house payments because we lost the house in foreclosure. It is what it is, though.

Well at least there's nothing new on it but I'm shamed that a full year later I'm still trying to figure out what the hell to do with all that debt! The total on my three credit reports is close to $7000. DH has about the same amount in old debt. :::deep breath:::

I do have a tentative plan in mind. I can't deal with it all right now but I'm going to get a firm plan in place and get that stuff dealt with quickly. Some of it is due to roll off before long but I owe the debts and I'm going to pay them. It might take me awhile but I'm going to do it. I'm tired of those things hanging over my head and I want them gone!

I feel better just 'fessing up...again.

I have a 1988 Yugo GV that I got in lieu of wages some years ago. It needs a new engine and I'm not going to do that (again) so I'm selling it. It won't bring much but it's hard to sell it, anyway. I've had it so long and it's been a great car, getting 40+ MPG and being something of an oddity on the road. Ahhh well, the decision is made, it's listed on a couple websites and I've gotten some inquiries about it, already. I mentioned it to someone this morning and he said, "Wow, you're selling your car?" He knows how I feel about it but such is life.

I'm also going job hunting today. I'm going to look for a retail job in the little town we're near. Even part time will be okay for now. DH is okay with it, finally. He knows it has to be done and he says he'll work his schedule around mine.

He also said that he's going to look for a job in the optical field in about two months. This is the worst time of year to look for a job in that field and he still has two books to get out so he'll do those and by the time he is finished, spring will be around the corner and he should be able to find a job.

This is hard, admitting that the business has failed, but at least he's coming around. He hurts but he knows what has to be done. We both do.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me!!!

I got Dave Ramsey's TMMO book in the mail today (free from someone who read it and passed it on to me) and read chapters 1 through 8. I'm not sure if I should feel some hope or if despair is called for.

I feel somewhat hopeful because his plan, while obviously not easy, appears to work. And (this is a biggie!) we don't have $85,000 in debt like so many people who sing Dave's praises. We only have about $16,000 in debt, not including the mortgage. However, we also don't make $120,000 a year! We've taken a loss the last two or three years so I can't say we really make anything at all. As Dave puts it, we don't have a business - we have an expensive hobby. And there's the crux of it all. Sure, we spend money on things we shouldn't at times but the reality is that we don't make enough money to cover our basic expenses. Last year our income taxes showed our $11,000 loss. So no matter how much budgeting we do we're still in danger.

After I read the book, my man person asked what I'd learned. I told him "Not a lot" as I'd listened to so many of Dave's archived radio shows and read so much online that the book was really a refresher more than anything but that I did learn a couple of things. He asked what, of course. I hesitated a bit and finally told him I did learn something I'd suspected. He asked what and I said, "I think it will work for us but to make it work, there would need to be major changes. I mean really major changes and to be honest, I'm not sure we'll make them." There, I said it. I've hinted, alluded, and suggested but tonight I finally flat out said it. He asked me for details. "Our problem isn't just too many expenses. It's also not enough income." He agreed and I told him that the only way out of that is to increase the income.

So, we talked for a few minutes and he told me that he's decided our business isn't working and that he'll just go get a job. Whoa! He hasn't had a "job" in the 13 years I've known him. He's been self-employed in one fashion or another and nothing has made him get a job, no matter how desperate we were.

I haven't the foggiest how this will pan out. I don't think he'll actually get a job. Why? Because I've told him more than once (and more than 10 times) that a job paying him $300 a week would be better and give me more security than a business that might or might not provide $2000 a month. I've tried to explain that if I knew we had $300 a week coming in, I could deal with that one way or another but not knowing from one day to the next or one month to the next what money there will be leads to insecurity for me. In all the time I've told him this he's never understood.

At any rate, I told him I'd get a job and he said no, we can't do that. I'm not sure what he meant by that but that's what he said. Since we only have one vehicle and he uses it during the day, I've told him before that I'll work nights but he won't hear of it because the only night jobs around here are at convenience stores and that's just too dangerous for me. That's nice and I would worry, too, but we're desperate. And have been for awhile! So I don't mind getting a night job if that's what I need to do.

So I'm wondering..what if I worked days and he worked nights? That would be hard but it could be done. Many couples have done that. He wouldn't like it nor would I but it's something to consider.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. Trying to figure out where we're headed, if we'll ever dig ourselves out of this mess, and just how we're going to do things. There might be light at the end of the tunnel, though. At least he listened to me and he said he'll read the book. And he's admitting that the business isn't working out and he needs to get a job.

That's progress. I think.

Okay, this is what's on the Trans Union credit report. I have never been so open with anyone, much less strangers, about my credit and debt, so this is new to me. However, I've read enough here to know yall are knowledgeable and compassionate so here goes some brutal honesty. I have no idea what to do with these debts. Do I pay them? I'm afraid to contact them for fear it will start the process all over but I need to deal with them.

#1
Balance $153
Pay Status: Collection Account
Open Account
Date placed for collection: 9/2003
Estimated date for removal 9/2008

#2
Balance $1251
Pay Status: Charged off
Revolving Account, Credit card
Opened: 01/2001
Closed: 05/2002
Estimated date for removal 02/2008

#3 *Collection Agency Attorney*
Balance $182
Pay Status: Collection Account
Date placed for collection: 12/2004
Estimated date for removal 9/2009

#4
Balance $687
Pay Status: Charged off
Revolving account, credit card
Opened: 09/2001
Closed: 03/2002
Estimated date for removal 9/2008

#5
Balance $0
Pay Status: Charged off
Revolving account, credit card
Opened: 9/2001
Closed: 3/2002
Purchased by another lender
Estimated date of removal 10/2008

#6
Balance $1,158
Pay Status: Collection account
Open account, placed for collection
Loan Type: Factoring Company Account (not sure what this is)
Date placed for collection: 05/2005
Estimated date of removal 08/2008

#7
Balance $509
Pay Status: Collection account
Open account, placed for collection
Loan Type: Factoring Company Account
Date placed for collection: 10/2003
Estimated date of removal: 10/2008

#8
Balance $0
Revolving account, credit card
Pay Status: Charged off
Date opened: 12/1999
Date closed: 4/2002
Date Paid: 9/2001 (does this mean I paid it off or something else? I'm lost!)
Purchased by another lender
Estimated date of removal: 8/2008

Then there's our mortgage - balance is $16,054

I wasn't sure if I wanted to post about this and wasn't going to but since accountability is what I need, here goes. I bought a pack of cigarettes tonight! Okay, so Monday is the date of the quit and it isn't like it's a huge deal but it IS a huge deal! I spent $2 I shouldn't have on another pack of smokes! Ugh, okay, I will not beat myself up too much over this but I'll have them all gone by tomorrow night and that's it. Period. Finis.

Give me strength!